Dressing and fashion in this age and time is so ubiquitous due to globalization. fashion trends in the U.S.A is the same with what obtains in Europe, Africa and everywhere else. many years ago you could pick out a Christian from the crowd as a result of their dressing which where usually uninspiring to say the least. However, one thing common in Christian dressing of yester years is that they covered people's body non the least their private areas.In these days however, these private areas are not so private anymore and this fashion trend has gotten a firm grip on Christians all over the world. Some years ago i was in a wedding ceremony with a christian sister. I couldn't concentrate because the gown she wore was quite shut and sitting down revealed quite a large chunk of her thighs. I had to stand up eventually and move somewhere else. Maybe i just didn't have enough self control!
God says we should dress for glory and beauty [Exo 28]. We are not to dress for beauty only nor for glory only; whatever i put on should glorify God and be beautiful. And as we can see, glory comes before beauty.
I therefore pose the following questions:
1] What is right in wearing clothes that expose female breast and skimpy skirts?
2] What is right in men sagging their trousers?
3] What do females think and expect when they put on revealing clothes?
4] Are men really moved by these female actions towards serious relationships?
5] Does our dressing reflect our spiritual maturity?
Please I would really appreciate your comment/opinion on any or all of these questions. Thank you.
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Monday, June 10, 2013
THE IMPORTANCE OF LISTENING IN CONFLICT RESOLUTION
By J.A Adisa
Conflict is an
offshoot of clash of interest between two or more people. Human Beings live in
groups in every given society. The smallest group of the society is family.
Relationships, of necessity, develop between two or more people who find
themselves living together in a family or in a particular geographical location
(i.e. beyond the family). In any given society, people tend to cluster together
based on their ethnicity or religious affiliation. There will always be clash
of interest where we have more than one person living together. This clash of
interest is what results into conflict. The cause of the clash may be
religious, ethnic based, i.e. cultural differences or that of personal
interest. The point is, there is no relationship that is devoid of
misunderstanding. At times, a seemingly simple misunderstanding can degenerate
into a conflict ad if care is not taken, it can escalate to a war.
It is always
good to have an understanding of and respect for the view and beliefs of the
other person we relate with. When a misunderstanding ensues, a quick
intervention is always necessary to nip the problem in the bud before it
results into a brawl. The truth of the matter is, no matter the seriousness of
conflict, the warring parties will still resort to dialogue at the end of the
day.
In resolving
conflict, the ability to listen is very paramount on the part of the
intervener. In any situation, if the people involved in the conflict had taken
time to listen to each other or to one another and had shown some understanding
and consideration for the other person (s), the conflict would have been
averted.
Listening is not
synonymous with hearing; it is not everybody that has the ability to hear that
listens. Listening is a skill that has to be developed. A skilled listener
listens to understand the position of the other person. He listens to get the
clues or points that give insights into the other person’s position. He pays special
attention to the other person’s choice of words, tone and body language. What
most of the time serve as obstacles to communication are the inability to
listen intelligently and skillfully to the other person.
Listening is not
a passive action. Rather, it is an active process that demands a rapt attention
on the part of the listener.
Active listening
is time demanding. It involves patience but many of us are always in a hurry to
speak rather than listen. This is what results to argument among people. Where
people are able to listen well to each other, conflict is reduced to the
bearest minimum. The emotional importance of listening is the soothing effect it
has both on the speaker and the listener. When you give your full attention to
a person by listening, you are saying in other words that you are interested in
what he or she is saying and that the person is important enough to merit your
time and attention. It is always good to hear the other person out; it is an
opportunity for him or her to let off the steam. When you give someone a fair
hearing, he respects your judgment more. The quality of your listening can
actually control another person’s ability to talk. Ahuja Pramila et.al. in
their book ‘How to Resolve Conflicts Through Listening’, said, “A good listener
plays the role of both mirror and sounding board that throws back a reflection
of the speaker, giving him a chance to see and hear himself in a way that might
not otherwise be possible”. When you
listen well to the other person, you are investing into his or her life; at the
end there will be dividends of peace accruing to both parties. As a husband, be
patient with your wife; to listen to her. She would not be happy if you cut her
short while talking. Do not pass your judgment on an issue before she concludes
talking. Doing that may result to emotional or even psychological problems.
The same thing
goes for a woman. Develop the ability to listen to your husband. He needs
someone to pour out his mind to and that is you. You are his confidant. When he
faces challenges in the office, he should find succour in you. The ability to
listen does not end with spouses alone, in relating with your children, in –
laws, friends, colleagues, neighbours, and even house helps, you need to
exercise patience in listening to whoever you are relating with. Listening is
the life blood of any relationship. Listening is to a relationship what the
eyes are to the body.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
The 'Love' Story Of Two Siblings
Sometime after this, David's son Amnon fell in love with David's other son Absalom's beautiful sister Tamar. Amnon became so emotionally distressed that he fell sick over his half-sister Tamar. She was a virgin, and Amnon found it difficult to do anything to her. Meanwhile, Amnon had a friend named Jonadab, who was the son of David's brother Shimeah. Now Jonadab was a very shrewd man. "Why are you so depressed these past few mornings," Jonadab asked Amnon, "since you're a son of the king? Why not tell me?" Amnon replied, "I'm in love with my brother Absalom's sister Tamar." Jonadab advised him, "Lie down and fake being sick. When your father visits you, ask him, 'Please let my sister Tamar come and give me something to eat that she prepares especially for me, and after she makes dinner for me, let her feed it to me personally.'" So Amnon lay down and faked being sick. When the king came to visit him, Amnon asked the king, "Please let my sister Tamar come and make some of her bread especially for me, so she can feed it to me personally." So David sent for Tamar back at the palace, telling her, "Please go to your brother Amnon's home and prepare some food for him." Tamar went to her brother Amnon's home, where he was lying down. She brought along some dough, kneaded it, prepared some cakes especially for him, baked them, and emptied the baking skillet just for him, but he refused to eat. "Send everybody out of here," Amnon said. So everyone left the room. Amnon told Tamar, "Bring the food into my private bedroom, so I can eat it with you personally." So Tamar took the cakes she had prepared and brought them into the private bedroom for her brother Amnon. But as soon as she brought them near him to eat, he overpowered her and told her, "Come here and have sex with me, my sister!" "No, my brother!" she kept telling him. "Don't humiliate me like this! This just isn't done in Israel! Don't do this utterly foolish thing! And what about me? Where will I go to escape this disgrace? And as for you, you'll be known as one of Israel's greatest fools! So please talk to the king, because he won't withhold me from you!" But he was unwilling to listen to what she was saying. Since he was stronger than she was, he forced her into having sex with him. Afterwards, though, Amnon hated her very intensely. As a result, his hatred for her exceeded the love that he had previously for her. So Amnon told her, "Get up! Leave!" (2Sa 13:1-15 ISV)
THE MAN, THE WOMAN AND THEIR GOD
EKKLESIA CONFERENCE 2013
CONFERENCE CENTER, UNIVERSITY OF IBADAN, NIGERIA
4pm Prompt
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
I Returned !
I returned, and saw under the
sun, that the race is not to the swift,
nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to
men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance
happeneth to them all.(Ecc 9:11 KJV)
I don’t know about you but
there are many things I have received that I did not merit. I have won races
[not literally] in which I was not the fastest; won battles I thought I should
have lost; gotten provision in ways I didn’t expect and received favour when
doors seemed shut. In other words, I have been a candidate of God’s favour and
mercy over and over again. Like Solomon I returned [observed, considered] these
things and concluded that God is faithful.
Maybe you are reading this and
you are not convinced God has been good to you; as a matter of fact you think
God has some explanation to do concerning some things in your life. Many times
we are so consumed with our problems we simply refuse to see the good things
God has thrown in our paths. The point is that we do not take time to objectively
consider and observe the totality of events in our lives. When we do, we begin
to see that we have absolutely many things to be grateful for. When we count
our blessing and name one by one, we would be surprised to see what God has
done!
In another perspective, how
many times have we had the privilege to return… literally? You went out
yesterday and returned home safe. You went to the hospital pregnant and
returned with a baby. You went to
college years ago and you returned to your family. You started a business
venture and you returned with profit. You went for surgery and you returned
alive. Every time we return we have a chance to celebrate the faithfulness of
God. When we celebrate God’s faithfulness we open doors for greater blessings.
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