By WHENU DAMILOLA
Life is full
of discoveries. You keep finding out new things everyday. Humans are like
onions that have different layers till you get to the core. Many people have
lost jewels just because they were not patient enough to keep undressing the
several layers of the onions. Hence, they did not avail themselves the
opportunity to discover what was in the core and appreciate the true worth of
the person.
Comparison is
a usual occurrence in romantic relationships. Comparison as defined by the
Encarta dictionaries is the act or
process of examining two or more people or things in order to discover
similarities and differences between them. As adventurous and interesting
this can be when playing the game “spot the differences” between two identical
pictures, it can and has jeopardized many love relationships and cause many to
end abruptly. It is marveling when some parents compare their children to each
other or even children of other parents. Children of the same biological
parents don’t necessarily have the same cognitive and physical abilities. When
some parents do this, they think they are bringing out the best in one. It
might have worked for a few but more often than not it leads to unintended
negative consequences. Many people have developed inferiority complex and hide
in their shells just because of this. This trend is usually replicated in
romantic relationships, marriage inclusive. Spouses comparing their partners to
their own parents, friends, other relationships, what they see, read and hear
on the media and etcetera. I daresay; those who compare their partners with
others are not wise at all.
When
partners in a relationship engage in this unnecessary behavior, usually don’t even
know a great deal about the other person(s) they are comparing their partners
to. They often times just know a little portion of what is going on in the
other relationships they have based their fantasy on. They are not fully aware
of what is going on between the two parties.
People have thus
tormented their partners for unreasonable, selfish and even sometimes stupid reasons.
You hear some ladies and guys say things like: you don’t open the door for me
and Steven does it for His wife; you don’t take me out to eat and every other
guy does that to the lady he loves; you don’t buy gifts for me; you are not beautiful
anymore; you have added weight and lots more. They compare their partner and
their partner’s attitude and actions to others they observe from afar, without
knowing whether the other party is a monster in other areas.
I have seen
a lot of examples where people measure their partner with others and break up
because their partner does not measure up. Usually the partner guilty of this
avoidable behavior don’t own up to the real reason behind their constant
nagging. They just simply create a conducive atmosphere for strife and eventual
break-up. The foolishness of this behavior is usually not apparent to the
erring partner until it is too late.
The scripture couldn’t have put
it more explicitly;
Not
that we [have the audacity
to] venture to class or [even to] compare ourselves with some who exalt and furnish
testimonials for themselves! However,
when they measure themselves with themselves and compare themselves with one
another, they are without understanding and behave unwisely. (2Co 10:12 AMP)
Whether you
are a Christian or not; you shall do well to learn the wisdom in this particular
scripture. So if you are in the habit of comparing people around you to others
you think are better than them, stop it now! And the food for thought is this:
your partners can also pinpoint several people who are better than you are; Selah!
